I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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