Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he thought i was a dude.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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