I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
