Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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