i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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