At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
