I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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