Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
