Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I have post one night stand depression
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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