You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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