She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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