***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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