this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
