Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I will pee on everything he values.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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