could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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