highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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