new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
