She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
