it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
3 2 1 whiskey
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
