Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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