in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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