And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
