When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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