I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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