I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
