Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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