She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
