It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
