Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
