where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
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