it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
