Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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