Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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