i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize