I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
