Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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