either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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