He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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