i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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