"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...