I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"