OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
did i walk over a car last night?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
