I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
