the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
