dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
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Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
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I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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