I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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