you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
