May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
