I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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