His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
