I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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