i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
