Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
