Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
