i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
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