Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
