i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
