I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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