I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
