The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
two words: eviction party
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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