he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
