so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
