What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
