Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize