Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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