Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
