You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
