I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My feet surprised me
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