What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
NoShamevember. You game?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize