Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize