She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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