So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
